When One Guy Just Isn't Enough

Girl: Please, gang rape me.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Dietary Needs

Guy #1: I used to drink a half a gallon of milk a day.

Guy #2: Are you Mormon?

Guy #1: No, why?

Guy #2: 'Cause Mormon's drink crazy milk.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Sex Games

Girl: Star Wars is for foreplay only.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Too Many Makeover Shows

Guy #1: It's the Scientology Makeover.

Guy #2: Which is a really good show. Have you seen it?

Guy #1: Yeah. Every show starts at 6 am with the host saying 'Good Morning, Cruise family'.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Free Food!!!

Guy: I was in New York right after 9/11 and everything was free.

Girl: Yeah, because you were looting.

--Sony Studios, CA

Future Plans

Female Picketer: I'm gonna make the "The Girls of the WGA" Playboy spread happen. I just have to lose 30 pounds first.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Be Careful With That

Girl who was just hit in the face with a strike sign: Have some sign awareness, bitch!

-- Fox Studios, CA

The Breaking Point

Guy: There's only so much anal I can take.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Never Say Never...

Windblown Picketer: I'm never coming back here. Not even for a general meeting.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Protect Your Signs - Part 1

Picketer, looking at his rain-drenched sign: I'm thinking of saran wrappin' this bitch for Monday.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Protect Your Signs - Part 2

Picketer #1: That sign is so nice and pristine.

Picketer #2: Yeah, I just wanna hump it.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Words That Annoy You

Wordsmith: "Moist" is my least favorite word. That and "finger" used as a verb.

-- Sony Studios, CA

Confidence Builder

Confident Guy: Fortunately I'm confident because of my gigantic penis.

Friend: And that coat is your condom?

-- Sony Studios, CA

Keeping It in the Family

Researcher: That's the thing with inbreeding, there's always a chance you'll be sleeping with a family member.

--Sony Studios, CA

There are Limitations to a PG-13 Movie.

Feature Writer: Anytime I'm up for a PG-13 film, that's all I get: two shits and a non-sexual fuck.

-- Sony Studios, CA

That Reminds Me...

Father: I have to go pick up the kid.

Single Woman: I want a strike baby to go home to.

Single Guy: That reminds me, I have to go pick up some condoms.

-- Sony Studios, CA

What Options Does your Car Come With?

Car Aficionado #1: It's a 400,000 dollar car.

Car Aficionado #2: Yeah, but it comes with a reach around.

-- Sony Studios, CA

What's New on Television?

Avid TV Watcher #1: I'm excited to see that new show "Join or Die".

Avid TV Watcher #2: What's that?

Avid TV Watcher #1: You know, that miniseries on HBO with Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney.

Avid TV Watcher #2: You mean "John Adams"?

Avid TV Watcher #1: What's "John Adams"?

Avid TV Watcher #2: That miniseries with Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney.

Avid TV Watcher #1: Then what's "Join or Die"?

-- Sony Studios, CA

The Rumor Mill

Writer: I heard a rumor about a rumor about the strike. Oh. Turns out that rumor about the rumor wasn't true.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Feeding Frenzy

Hungry Guy: I'm gonna go get a donut.

Famished Guy: Where?

Hungry Guy: On the sign-in table.

Famished Guy: There are fuckin' donuts?!

-- Warner Brothers Studios, CA

The Dating Game

Single Guy: These two girls in short skirts wouldn't have sex with us.

His Wingman: I'm telling you man, girls in L.A. suck.

-- Warner Brothers Studios, CA

Where Do You Hike?

Hiker: I did the Fryman loop this weekend. But I like Runyon better because of the eye candy.

-- Warner Brothers Studios, CA

Pet Names

Smitten Husband: My wife calls me Poopie.

--Warner Brothers Studios, CA

Picketing Schedule

Swamped Writer: We picket for three hours a day. Or two if you're me.

-- Warner Brothers Studio, CA

The Black Sheep on the Side of the Road

Writer to his Gate Captain: Please don't make me do the "honk" thing.



--Fox Studios, CA

What To Wear While Picketing

Fashionista: I went with boxers today instead of boxer briefs, and I can already tell it was a bad move.

Fashionista's Friend: Wow, that's a lot of information first thing in the morning.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Who You Voting For?

Politicker: Every time I think of (Joe) Biden, he reminds me of the kind of guy you'd run into in the steam room of a men's club... And that kinda made me like him more.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Where Were You?

Male Writer: You're late. Picketing started at 8.

Out-of-breath Female Writer: Yeah, I had an appointment at the gym.

Male writer looks at her with a blank stare.

Out-of-breath Female Writer: You know, with my trainer.

-- Fox Studios, CA

Alternate Means of Employment

Male Writer: Well, if you want to be in a porn movie...

-- Fox Studios, CA